Ex-’SNL’ comic brings tour about aging, menopause to Tucson

“It's like you get smarter, but your body is getting older, so you can't use your body for the advantage of the smartness you have,” explained the former “Saturday Night Live” cast member and actress (“Ghostbusters,” “Masterminds,” “The Sloth Lane”), who brings her “I’m Hot Tour” to Fox Tucson Theatre on Friday, Sept. 18.

“I’m Hot” has a two-sided meaning for Jones.

“I’m hot as a person and my jokes (are) hot, and then I'm menopausing so I'm hella hot,” she said.

“So we're talking about all that, and we're talking about life,” Jones added when we caught up with her earlier this month to talk about aging gracefully and her years-long journey into standup.

“I did the training,” she said during that phone call from her Los Angeles home. “I know people don't want to hear that, but you would want to hear it if you was a doctor, right? If they told you, ‘Hey, to be a doctor, it's going to take seven years,’ you would do the seven years, right? … So what's the difference in comedy? You want to be a good comic, you have to do the training.”

What does that training look like?

“The first three years of doing comedy, you're learning how to even be on the stage. You're learning how to pace yourself, how to hold the mic. … You're learning all that (expletive) in the first three years because you are a toddler. You're a 1-year-old, you're a 2-year-old, you're a 3-year-old. You're learning how to walk. Then the fourth and fifth year is when you're developing a set that's five- or seven-minutes long for you to audition for a set at clubs, where you can get hired to get paid for some spots. Then eight and nine, yeah, you're developing jokes to get a set. By the 10th year, you're gonna throw away everything and then start over because you are going to be at a new level."

Was there ever a point though where you wanted to throw in the towel?

“Yeah, man, every freaking day … I was a major in criminal justice (in college) and my aunt was a drug enforcement agent, and she was like, ‘I can get you a job.’ … That's why I tell comics, y'all are not new. Your frustration is not new. I wanted to quit every day, man. Three months before I got ‘SNL’ I was like, ‘OK, OK, Auntie, I'm gonna give it six months, and then I'm just gonna come and move down there’.”

So how are you dealing with this whole aging thing?

“I mean, how can you deal with it, right? First of all, people need to know that's going to happen. You can't prevent it from happening. You know what you can do is is make sure that you do it well. Like take care of yourself, people. We really don't take care of ourselves. You know, eat right … working out, drinking water, sleeping, all that stuff helps you age. Now, is that gonna stop aging? No, but you gotta appreciate that you got to grow old, you know. And that's life, isn't it?”

What’s your definition of growing old gracefully?

“Not fighting it. We fight it so much. Like, ooh, I want to get rid of the wrinkles. Ooh, is that gonna make me look young? No. That's just putting stress on your heart and your soul; that is the one that's actually aging.”

So can we assume then that you're not the one who goes under the knife to tuck this and trim that?

“Hell no. Nuh-uh. That hurt. Plus I have an aunt, right? I have an aunt that's done all of that, and it's all been unsuccessful, and you gotta keep doing it. So I look younger than my aunt. I was talking to somebody and I was like, yeah, you know, I'm menopausal or whatever. He was like, ‘Damn, girl, how old are you?’ And I said, ‘Oh, I'm about to be 59.’ He was like, ‘I would have not put you past 35 years old.’ ”

Do you think that laughter plays a role in that?

“Yeah. And we're children. We don't mature.”

If you could go back, at 59, to your 25-year-old self, what advice would you give that person?

“This is a great question because I think about this all the time. ‘Shut up and keep going, keep fighting.’ I wouldn't tell myself too much because I'm in my head all the time, so I would be like, only thing I would say is, ‘You're okay. You're going the right way; don't change nothing.’ And then my 25-year-old self would rob me, she would be like, ‘Yeah, I know what size you wear. Take those clothes off.’ So I would come back butt naked. She would be like, ‘Oh, those some nice bracelets. Take them off now’.”

Veteran New York comedian Lenny Marcus, who collaborated with Jones on her comedy specials “Time Machine” and “Life Part 2,” opens Friday’s show at 7:30 p.m. at the Fox, 17 W. Congress St. Tickets are $24-$76 through foxtucson.com.