Local Opinion: Please respect our marriage

My wife and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary, enjoying festivities with our adult daughter and extended family. But, there is a damper on the occasion because our family is under threat.

Our wedding ceremony was performed by a rabbi on July 4, 1997. The Rabbi signed our ketubah (Jewish marriage contract). But, we were unable to obtain a civil marriage license or certificate. After our wedding, we were still considered legal strangers; we had no marriage rights.

We were later able to register as domestic partners with the city of Tucson, gaining the right to visit one another in a hospital, but we were deprived of more than 1,000 additional legal rights conferred upon married couples.

In 2000, following Vermont’s establishment of civil unions, we traveled there to have a civil union ceremony performed by a county clerk, whereupon we became legal spouses. But Arizona refused to recognize our legal status as spouses; at home, we remained legal strangers.

Then, in 2008, we traveled to California where we obtained a marriage license, had a civil marriage ceremony performed by a county clerk, and obtained a marriage certificate. But, the State of Arizona still wouldn’t recognize us as spouses.

Once, while I was on a business trip in Washington, D.C., I was considered to be legally married to my wife, while at the same time — because she remained home in Tucson — my wife was not considered to be married to me. That was tough to wrap our heads around.

Finally, in 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court issued the Obergefell decision requiring the State of Arizona to recognize us as married. We were finally able to file a joint tax return, share a health savings account, became eligible for one another’s Social Security benefits, and were able to enjoy all of the other myriad civil rights and responsibilities associated with state-recognized marriage.

Alas, now our marriage rights have come under question once again with the Supreme Court’s decision, especially Justice Thomas’ concurrence, in the Dobbs case.

I am encouraged that the U.S. House of Representatives has voted to pass the bipartisan Respect for Marriage Act to preserve legal recognition of our marriage. All Arizona Democrats voted in favor, but all Arizona Republicans voted against.

I am grateful to Arizona’s Democrats in Congress. Meanwhile, I am hurt and angered by the hostility demonstrated toward our family by Arizona’s Republican delegation.

I ask my fellow Arizonans to respect our marriage and our family and to vote for candidates who will ensure it remains legally recognized. We and our family deserve to be treated equally and to share in liberty and justice for all.