Just when you thought you'd heard of every possible caffeinated foodstuff: energy drinks, Water Joe, breath mints. Now comes caffeinated beef jerky, and it's called - wait for it - Perky Jerky.
Rhyming foods are the bomb.
The energizing snack food comes courtesy of the Performance Enhancing Meat Snack Co. (seriously, that's the company's name). Each packet o' jerky has about the same amount of caffeine as "two cans of a popular energy drink," so says the press release. It has 90 calories per serving and 22 grams of protein. The ingredient providing the perk is guarana, which is in many energy drinks and herbal teas.
The jerky is peppery and a touch sweet, and it's surprisingly pliable. Jerky often can be too tough. No weird aftertaste, either. It was just good snackin' food. Did it enhance my performance? Well, after sucking down one package, I sat - with my butt in the chair - better than I ever have before. I even felt alert.
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For now, Perky Jerky is primarily sold online at www.perkyjerky.com.
The suggested retail price is $4.99 for a 2-ounce bag. The company expects the jerky to hit retail outlets soon, and the plan is worldwide meat-snack domination.
Perky Jerky creator Brian Levin said in the introductory press release: "Our mission is to make Perky Jerky available anywhere and everywhere snacks and energy drinks are sold. We won't rest until we've achieved it, and given that we are rabid Perky Jerky fans ourselves, I don't see us resting any time soon."
Somewhere, in a Circle K, a Slim Jim is quietly crying.