Poor Phoenix.
Around Tucson, the sprawling northern metropolis has a lower opinion rating than bird flu.
And now this: the three top Arizona Roller Derby teams from Maricopa County are traveling to the Old Pueblo this weekend to battle the top three Tucson Roller Derby squads.
"I personally hate Phoenix," said the Furious Truckstop Waitresses' Ariana "Peaches Rodriguez" Ybarra, 26. "It's like an ASU-UA rivalry as far as I'm concerned."
Luckily, the animosity seems to go both ways, even if Kelly "Sick Girl" Thompson, 29, of Phoenix's Bruisers, neglected to sling a ton of dirt our way. "Tucson's all right," she said. "There's a lot of hippies."
As far as roller derby, history is on the side of Tucson, which finished second overall in this year's Dust Devil national tournament held here in February. Phoenix's Arizona Roller Derby placed third at the tournament, which drew the best skaters from around 20 leagues.
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"In a lot of ways, I consider (Tucson) a sister league," Thompson said. "There's that almost sisterly rivalry."
Tucson Roller Derby actually broke off from Arizona Roller Derby and formed here in 2003. Since then, the two leagues have scrapped it out with each other, but nothing like this.
Saturday night, the top Arizona Roller Derby team, the Bruisers, will play the top Tucson Roller Derby team, the Furious Truckstop Waitresses, in a 30-minute abbreviated bout preceded by the second- and third-place teams of both leagues playing in the same format.
Tucson Roller Derby skaters said they enjoy it when they get to play against women from other cities, as it makes it easier to knock someone on her face and not have to worry about seeing her at practice the next day — plus since it's Phoenix, all the better.
"There's already that hatred established," said Vice Squad's Karyn "Aja Consent" Hunt, 23, who blew her tongue when asked her thoughts on the city of Phoenix.
For local fans, this will be a rare chance to see each Tucson Roller Derby team play in the same night, which could also possibly lead to the first win ever for Tucson's long-suffering Iron Curtain.
"There are always surprises," said the Iron Curtain's Ashleigh "Bolshe Vixen" Bennett, 20.
Thompson said some of the Arizona Roller Derby skaters are a little nervous about coming to battle Tucson, and perhaps for good reason.
"I feel an annihilation coming on," Ybarra said.
What: Tucson Roller Derby vs. Arizona Roller Derby (Phoenix).
Bout schedule:
Beginning at 7 p.m., here is the breakdown:
The Iron Curtain vs. the Surly Gurlies
Vice Squad vs. the Bad News Beaters
Furious Truckstop Waitresses vs. the Bruisers
Format: The teams will play abbreviated 30-minute bouts. Regular Tucson Roller Derby bouts consist of three 20-minute periods.
Where: Bladeworld, 1065 W. Grant Road.
Cost: $8 in advance, $10 day of.
For more information, visit tucsonrollerderby.com.
