Unless you’ve gone off the grid, you know we have a historic election this year, and it’s dividing the country as well as some relationships. I have never seen more partners in disagreement over the candidates and the issues. I’m sure some couples are considering separating until the election is over or are even contemplating divorce.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith
I find this confounding, because togetherness is about you and me against the world — not about my choice is better than yours. You should not allow your political views to interfere with your family and your home life. Yes, you may disagree, but that’s no reason to trash your relationship or your partner.
Please consider taking political discussions off the table if you think they’re damaging your relationship or lowering your opinion of your partner. If you can’t talk about your opinions without having an argument, then steer your conversations elsewhere. It’s a simple choice when you look at the toxic energy that can come from having different opinions. These arguments are clearly not worth the pain they can cause. Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but if yours is upsetting the one you love, you don’t need to express it.
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Our leaders change, whereas your relationship needs to be a constant, because no matter who wins, there are going to be challenges that you and your partner can best deal with as a united team. If you are divided, you’ll find life’s challenges much more difficult.
These big political races can bring out our fears and insecurities, and we may project them onto the ones we love when they don’t agree with us. If you are angry with members of your family because they see things differently, you have to let them be who they are and vote for whomever they choose.
Your relationship doesn’t need any additional grudges or doubts. Accept your mate for who they are, and let it be. It may help to remember that millions of other people also have their own opinions and the two of you, no matter how you vote, cannot overcome the majority. Of course, every vote matters, but the election is not being held in your living room, and you need to keep your home life peaceful. Home should be wonderful place of solace to rest your weary mind after work, kids, school, daily life, and political races.
Actually, if you can keep the conversation civil, having differing opinions can make your interactions more interesting. Differences in relationships are not necessarily bad, and they can make for a more dynamic connection if you allow them to.
Republican, democrat or independent, it matters not when it comes to caring and respecting the ones you love. Don’t let the candidates into your bedroom, but keep that space for yourselves.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, an award-winning Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, writer and keynote speaker, can be reached via e-mail at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.
