The toll space travel takes: 'The Longest Goodbye' looks at emotional costs

LOS ANGELES – Jamey Simpson remembers getting phone calls from his mother when she was on the Space Station.

“We had a landline at the time and I would run outside with the cord still attached and I’d see her arcing across the sky,” the 23-year-old says. “It was incredible to think that little blip of light is somebody you love. But that was how I said good night to my mom.”

Mom is Dr. Cady Coleman, a chemist, engineer, former Air Force colonel and retired astronaut. She was part of two Space Shuttle missions, departing the International Space Station in May 2011. She logged 159 days in space – 159 days away from her husband, glass artist Josh Simpson, and their son, Jamey, who was 10 at the time.

The experience, both mother and son admit, was amazing. What they didn’t realize was what effect the time away might have on each other. Even though they could talk on a regular basis, they weren’t in the same room, house, state or planet.

In the “Independent Lens” feature, “Space: The Longest Goodbye,” they talk about the toll long absences can take.

“When you see somebody go up in space you think, ‘What a thrill.’ We’re all excited for the person getting to do all these things,” Coleman says. “We don’t realize there’s a cost to all this.”

Acting up

Footage shows Simpson acting up and disrespecting his grandmother, a clear sign he was frustrated. But those instances are secondary to the coping mechanisms they embraced.

“She had a little stuffed (Calvin and) Hobbs tiger in space and I had a stuffed tiger down on Earth,” Simpson explains. “Whenever I missed my mom, I would hug Hobbs and, if she missed me, she would hug Hobbs as well.”

Jamey, Coleman says, knew the price of their separation. “I trained around the world for three years and he was aware of what I was doing,” she says. “If he saw a picture of me with a monkey I had gotten from the Dollar Store in Japan or Hobbs being measured for a spacesuit, he’d ask about it. We prepared for the separation.”

Time, Simpson says, had different meaning to him as a child. “I can very vividly remember my mom explained to me, ‘Not when you’re in first grade, second grade or third grade but when you’re in fourth grade, I’m going to the Space Station.’ I quantified time in terms of the school year.”

Because his parents had instilled in him the value of Coleman’s work (“she’s solving some of the world’s greatest problems”), it wasn’t likely that would set up barriers. “That just wasn’t in the equation,” Simpson says. “My mom couldn’t come to my recital – that’s frustrating, right? But I wouldn’t get upset over that because I understood the importance of her work.”

That incident with grandma (“which is embarrassing now”) was something “every kid understands. It’s intense. It’s scary. You feel embarrassed and sad. But to be disciplined from the Space Station was also pretty funny.”

Great hugs

When the mission finally ended and Coleman and Simpson were within hugging distance, both were overwhelmed. “You don’t really think about how amazing a hug from your mom is,” Simpson says. “We spent probably two weeks after she landed in crew quarters – building LEGO sets, going to the gym and running around like we owned the space center.”

The experience, however, didn’t make him want to become an astronaut.

“That was always something my mom has done,” he says. “I didn’t want to become an astronaut but, at the same time, I think it’d really be cool to go to space.”

Next generation?

Now a graduate of American University, Simpson says his mother’s experience helped him in his professional life. “I learned the importance of telling a story. I’m a photographer and, in many respects, I think that’s a way for me to bridge my two worlds.”

Coleman says the experience has made her more sensitive to characters dying in films. “Those things actually bring out what you managed to keep at bay…and it was a conscious decision for all of us.

“We decided this was really who Jamie’s mom was and that I should go for it,” she says, then pauses. “But that doesn’t mean it’s not really hard.”

"Space: The Longest Goodbye" airs May 12 on PBS.