Joan Glover: Just before death, one last belly laugh

It could be because she survived a life marked by pain and tragedy — a childhood accident that left her blind in one eye, the suicide of her teenage son, breast cancer and a mastectomy and finally brain tumors.

Or it could be because at age 57, Glover decided to become an actress — and went on to roles in several major movies.

She faced each challenge with equanimity and humor; turned every milestone into an opportunity for learning.

"She'd be afraid and do it anyway," said her youngest sister, June Wright, who lives in Concho, northeast of Show Low. "I never learned to live my life as bravely as she did."

Yet, in the weeks since Glover's July 3 death at age 70, Wright has felt more self-assured — perhaps a final gift bequeathed by her sister.

Wright was at her sister's bedside the morning she died following five years of treatment for brain tumors that usually are fatal within a year of diagnosis. Despite her weakened condition, Glover left this world pain-free and in good humor.

Minutes before her death, Glover, her husband Bill, and Wright had a good belly laugh, joking about an unfortunate comment Glover once made about her sister's portly dog.

"One time she came over and said, 'Well, look at that little fat-assed Chihuahua,' and I was really offended because I really loved that dog," Wright said. "That last day I said, 'You're lucky I didn't bring my little fat-assed dog.' She left laughing."

Jocularity was a gift Glover shared with many people and it's what first attracted the attention of Bill, who was introduced to her by a mutual friend while living in Atlanta.

"I married her because she was the funniest human being I ever knew," Bill said. "I would still be a humorless computer nerd without her in my life."

In August, the couple would have celebrated their 44th wedding anniversary.

Bill is an entrepreneur and for a while Joan worked for one of his companies.

"Our ways of doing things were very different," Bill said. "I thought of divorce and if she was here, she'd say she thought of murder. To save our marriage, I fired her."

In response, Joan chucked a few choice epithets Bill's way and announced she was going into show business.

"I didn't remind her she was 57, overweight, blind in one eye and missing a breast from cancer," he said. "She said to me just a couple of years ago, 'You know Bill, the best thing you ever did for me was marry me and the second best thing you did was fire me.'"

In no time, Joan found herself an agent and began booking commercials, print work and roles in theater, television and film. She made 11 movies in all.

Her credits include the Academy Award-winning 1995 movie "Dead Man Walking," starring Susan Sarandon; a part dancing with Gena Rowlands in 1995's "Neon Bible"; 1997's "Lolita" with Jeremy Irons; 1997's Emmy and Golden Globe-winning "Miss Evers' Boys" with Alfre Woodard and Laurence Fishburne; and 1999's movie "Forces of Nature" with Sandra Bullock and Ben Affleck.

"She was really lucky because her scenes were always with the stars," Bill said.

Before a scene in "Dead Man Walking" in which Joan played the parent of a murdered child, the movie's director, Tim Robbins, sat down with her to talk about the delivery of her lines and what the parent of a deceased child might feel.

"She never told him she knew what it was like," Bill said.

The couple lost their adopted son, Billy, when he committed suicide at age 16. Though devastated by the loss, the couple attended support group meetings in Atlanta and eventually volunteered to counsel other families affected by suicide. After moving to Tucson seven years ago, Bill said his wife gave occasional talks on consoling the families of suicide victims.

It was in the support group in 1990 that the couple met Marianne Geyer of Atlanta.

"She was bigger than life and a such a character," Geyer said. "We'd go to these meetings once a month and … I thought, 'My God, here's a woman who's gone through the worst thing you could ever go through and she's trying to channel her energies into something positive. She told the people in the group, 'You have to find a gift out of the middle of this pain.' "

Joan even talked Geyer into taking an improvisational acting class with her.

"She had such a zest and love for life," Geyer said. "She was absolutely hysterical. That's the thing that drew me to Joan — her humor and her spirituality. She was a very deep woman and she was an extremely brilliant lady and on the other side of that she was extremely funny."

Joan gave up film work after moving to the Old Pueblo, but was involved in community theater. Five years ago, she was rehearsing lines for an Invisible Theater production when she realized something was wrong.

"She had her lines down, but then had trouble getting the words out," Bill said.

Medical tests revealed Joan had two brain tumors. She underwent surgery, chemotherapy and radiation treatment and seemed to improve. A year later, though, doctors found another — inoperable — tumor.

"She was one of the bravest ladies I've met," said Joan's oncologist, Dr. Johanna Dimento. "I had to give her some really hard-to-take chemotherapy up front and she got through it like a champ with a pleasantness and kindness through it all."

While the doctor was treating her patient, Joan was dispensing her own brand of medicine.

"When I met her, I was early in my fellowship and at a time when several of my patients who I had become close to died of horrible diseases," Dimento said. "I thought, 'I can't do this anymore.'

"The day I met her, I said, 'This is a patient who could defy the odds' — in part it was because I needed her to."

The doctors at University Medical Center were surprised by Joan's longevity. But her husband wasn't.

"Over at UMC they think she's a medical miracle," he said. "But they don't know how stubborn Southern women are."

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