What if they'd gotten away with it?
What if he hadn't looked up at his dad during the newscast and said, "You guys said that this was just for a show."
What if he'd lied?
Then the Colorado family that fooled the world a couple of weeks back might be signing a contract on some new reality show.
They'd be hiring a publicist and setting up bookings for everyone from Jay Leno to Oprah.
Instead, Richard Heene and his wife, Mayumi, face possible criminal charges for releasing a helium balloon and then telling authorities they thought their son, Falcon, might be inside.
Now they're in trouble because their son did what most 6-year-old boys will do when hard-pressed. He told the truth.
Questioned again, and yet again, by newscasters, he threw up rather than tell a lie. Twice.
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No child should ever be put in this situation. Did his father tell him Daddy would be in big trouble if he told the truth?
Even before everyone knew what we assume is the truth — that his father was a media hog angling for yet another reality show — Falcon had become "Balloon Boy."
No matter what he does in life, no matter how long he lives, when he dies the obituaries will note that Falcon Heene was part of what appears to be an elaborate hoax that for a time fooled the world into believing he was floating high above the Earth, alone, in a balloon.
And somewhere in the type will be the words: "Balloon Boy."
In that, ironically, he will have outdone his father's incessant hunger for fame.
Google "Balloon Boy" and more than 16 million hits pop up. Old episodes of "Wife Swap" quickly went up on YouTube, which featured the family last March.
Here is how ABC marketed the show on its Web site: "The Heenes swap lives with a psychic mom who speaks to the dead and can control the weather, her husband and her children — who believe they are destined to be stars. This show will feature aliens, punk rockers, past-life regression and for the first time ever, the children from the two families will face off in a kids' table meeting."
Good grief.
Never mind Child Protective Services checking out the Heene family. How about checking out "Wife Swap"?
If this is "reality," pray tell, what is make believe?
While the world heaps scorn on the Heenes, maybe we should reserve a little for ourselves as well.
Why do we watch shows that purport to show us bachelors who propose to virtual strangers, or women who willingly trade families for two weeks?
We know in our heart of hearts that these shows are no more "real" than their contestants.
Real life, of course, is frequently humdrum and boring. Which is why reality shows resort to the outlandish to draw us in: Jungle survival, trysts in the hot tub, shrewish women, men who are cads. Whatever works.
Is it any wonder that Richard Heene earnestly explained on "Wife Swap" that an alien once spoke to him while he was at a fast-food restaurant?
Something tells me the alien didn't ask anything so mundane as, "Do you want fries with that?"
As long as the public watches this dreck, there will be those willing to pretend it is so.
As for Richard Heene, will he mend his ways? Or will he flit ever closer to the limelight?
Who knows? But one thing's for sure if this case continues in its current direction: He has unwittingly taught his three young sons a valuable lesson: Sometimes there are dire consequences for lying.
