The latest ridiculously good-looking cast of "Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County" — a soap-opera that follows the life of real-life teens — promises more of the lusciously over-the-top drama that lets fans love/hate the characters and adore the show.
In the first episode, Tessa, the season's narrator, sets up the rivaling cliques and her plans to get back at the snotty, more popular girls by taking "their boys." "Beach's" trademark tight editing and clever juxtaposition of the groups build a clear story line: It's a Tessa crew vs. Kyndra's.
Tessa, whose exotic look and long, dark hair set her apart from the buxom blondes who rule Laguna Beach, is likable. But Raquel, Tessa's best friend, looks like she'll be this season's breakout for viewer sympathy. Raquel seems kind and even slightly innocent, which is unusual in the hookup hall of fame that is the "Beach." Fifteen minutes in, and you're already rooting for her, instead of just hoping for a fight or emotional breakdown. While Kyndra and Cami, another one of the most popular girls in Laguna, are pawing through boutique racks, Raquel is making Tessa a grilled cheese sandwich.
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The head of the rival clique, Kyndra, is manipulative, self-centered and mean. She's also incredibly rich, beautiful and charming and knows how to get what she wants. This is the time-sucking beauty of "Laguna Beach." You despise Kyndra but envy her money, confidence and charisma, not to mention her mansion and sick ride. Her life's too glamorous and her problems are so petty and entertaining that you can't stop watching.
Early in the episode, she invites Tessa to a barbecue at her house, only to lead her group in ostracizing Tessa because she brought Raquel. Kyndra gathers her friends together, and they glare, whisper and point at the other girls until they leave.
"Yeah, I'm talking about you," one of the girls says to Tessa and Raquel.
This is high school's brutal rivalry juiced on money and sex and pumped full of cut-downs on steroids.
Triumphant, Kyndra smiles and tells her friends, "You know what I love about us? We have the guys, and they don't. The guys? We own them." Every soap opera needs a good villain, and Kyndra fills the role with Julie Cooper-style relish.
The guys on the show are easier to take and every bit as attractive as the women. Cameron, whose quiet demeanor and six-pack abs make him a ladies' magnet, and Kelan are best buddies. Kelan doesn't get much screen time, but a few scenes hint at his jealousy. Cameron, the taller and more athletic of the two, is trying to decide between two girls. Kelan's not getting an ounce of play.
"Yeah, I feel really sorry for you," Kelan says sarcastically during a game of driveway basketball when Cameron worries about choosing.
Cameron's also a major link between this season and last. He's hooking up with Jessica, who apparently cannot choose a boyfriend who doesn't like someone else. Cameron, unlike Jason from Season 2, has a conscience and worries about hurting Jessica's feelings, but it's hard to feel sorry for such a pretty person who brings her boy problems raining down on her own head.
Cameron's other honey? Kyndra, natch. Over coffee with a friend, Kyndra asks, "Do you think Jessica really likes Cameron? Because it makes it more fun if she does."
Sadly, as much as we hate to admit it, it makes it more fun for us, too.
● "Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County" airs at 10 tonight on MTV.
