Parents are scrambling to make many decisions for fall. For some, one of them is what role, if any, grandparents will have in child care.
For many families, grandparents have been the go-to for child care. They’re reliable, the kids know them and they’re cheap, said Dr. Thomas A. Russo, professor and chief of infectious disease at the University at Buffalo’s Jacobs School of Medicine and Biomedical Sciences.
But this is no ordinary fall. In the midst of a pandemic, and with many families having to balance work and a child’s school schedule that will likely include some remote learning at home, grandparents or other older relatives may be asked to step in and help. Or be tempted to offer.
There’s going to be pressure, but there’s going to be some danger with this, Russo said.
A new season of day care and school is starting up. There may be more interactions between more vulnerable grandparents and the children. Activities are shifting from outdoors to indoors. With any bump in infections, many children are going to be asymptomatic.
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“I think grandparents need to be more vigilant and careful than ever,” Russo said. Alternatives in child care may need to be found.
Beyond summer
Since early in the pandemic, families heard time and again that Covid-19 affects older people more severely than younger people. Many stayed home. Grandparents and grandchildren came up with ways to stay connected through FaceTime and Skype.
Summer arrived. New York saw declining coronavirus numbers. Some families decided to get together with grandparents as safely as possible – by wearing masks and socially distancing in backyards, parks and walks around the neighborhood.
Now, as the school year approaches in different instructional formats – in-person, fully remote, hybrid model – new concerns develop. Each family has its own needs and situations, and any help from grandparents may range from picking up kids from day care to spending portions of days or evenings with them when their parents are working.
Some families also live in multigenerational households, which is another big concern when family members are increasingly out in the community.
The science
The state of Covid-19 science changes as researchers learn more about the virus. One aspect of the disease that has become clearer is that children are not immune from getting infected, as some first thought. Children older than 10 can get Covid-19 and can transmit it to others just as well as adults can, Russo said.
As for children under age 10, the science so far shows they too can get infected, but there’s uncertainty about whether they get infected at the same rate as adults, he said.
“What we can definitely say is that children can get infected. They’re often asymptomatic, which is really problematic so you don’t know if they’re infected. We know that the amount of virus that they can shed actually is more than adults,” Russo said.
“So the fact that we can detect virus at high levels, in fact higher than adults, makes me believe that there is zero question that they’re infectious, whether they’re absolutely as infectious as adults and children older than 10 or not hasn’t been absolutely established.”
To be safe, according to Russo, we have to assume younger children can get infected and that they can infect others.
“So if these children are going to day care or to school and they get infected, and when the grandparents – or even parents – interact, obviously their risk of a bad outcome is going to be much greater. That’s going to be problematic,” he said.
Ongoing conversations
Dave and Barb Gallo have been spending a lot of time this summer with their three grandchildren who live locally – boys ages 2 and 3 and a girl, 8.
Things will likely change this fall. The parents are leaning toward a hybrid option at their daughter’s school.
“So when school starts, they are contemplating sending the 8-year-old to school for the two days a week, and then she would be home three days a week. We had to tell them – because of our ages and the fact that one of us has asthma – we don’t want to take a chance with her going to school and not knowing what she might be bringing home,” Dave Gallo said.
The boys will be in day care once it starts, he added. The Gallos, who are in their 70s, are retired teachers from the Williamsville Central School District.
“So we’re not going to put ourselves in the possible predicament of picking something up,” Gallo said. “It’s a big concern.”
Kristin Jordan, of Lockport, had a similar conversation with her parents, who are also in their 70s.
Jordan said her parents have always been an integral part of her sons’ lives – driving them to sports practices, bringing them dinner when she was working late, just checking in with them. This fall, it’s going to be different.
The oldest, 15, will be attending in-person classes a couple days a week as part of the hybrid model. The youngest, 13, is choosing to do remote learning at home.
Now, they all feel it’s too risky for Jordan’s parents. They told her: “We will help if we need to, but if you can find another way, we’d rather you did that.”
Other families have been putting together a plan. Hamburg residents Megan Miller, an elementary school teacher, and her husband, Steve, a speech pathologist, have three children ages 3 to 9.
Megan Miller will be going back to school every day. The 7- and 9-year-olds will be going to school two days a week, and will spend one day a week with their maternal grandparents, one of whom is a retired teacher who can help out with the virtual learning. The youngest will be in day care five days a week. Steve Miller is able to work home two days a week and will step in to help the children on the remote learning days.
In planning for back-to-school, the parents and grandparents agreed this plan would work for everybody.
“We’ve been following the recommendations put forth and just being mindful of where we are and who we’re around,” Megan Miller said.
“However, I did have the conversation with them of ‘How do you feel with the kids going back to school, being exposed to more people and a larger population we don’t know?’ I left it out there for them,” she said.
The grandparents said they felt fine about it. “I trust my parents to make a decision that they feel safe with,” Miller said.
Buffalo parent Tanesha Dupree, a full-time hair designer at Relle Organic Salon on Lexington Avenue, has a different plan for when her son begins sixth grade learning fully remotely at home. Dupree’s mother is moving in for a couple of months to help out. Her mother has been pretty much “hunkering down” in her place in Yonkers. Dupree’s son has been staying at home as well, since there are no sports camps or birthday parties.
“My mother has been tested, my son has been pretty much staying in the house and I get tested every month” (since she works in a salon), Dupree said.
Expert advice
Some things for grandparents and parents to consider during any interactions with grandchildren:
• Masks: If grandparents come to visit – or come to look after the children – they should assume, if the child has been going out of the house to day care or school, that they might be infectious, Russo said.
“If the child is old enough, with those interactions I would suggest trying to have the child wear a mask – and the grandparents should wear a mask, as well. They should also obviously practice social distancing and hand hygiene. ... Even though respiratory spread is the primary mode, it’s still important to maintain hand hygiene.”
• Eye protection: Right now it’s not recommended that children younger than 2 wear masks.
“For whatever the reason the child is not wearing a mask, the grandparents should also wear eye protection. Because when everyone is wearing masks, that’s sort of indirect eye protection. But if the child cannot wear a mask and they’re infectious, that is a portal that is unguarded by wearing a mask alone. Eye protection is really important when all parties are not wearing masks,” Russo said.
“The eye protection in an imperfect form would be things like just regular glasses or sunglasses, but it really should be wrap-around goggles or those tight-fitting swimmer goggles, if possible.”
The problem with tighter fitting swimming goggles is they don’t fit over eyeglasses.
“So they’re going to need to buy safety glasses or goggles with the wrap-around. They have depth to them so you can wear your glasses underneath them,” he said.
• Outdoors vs. indoors: Generally speaking, being outside is better than inside. That’s because the larger air volume disperses the virus and it’s easier to keep a physical distance of 6 feet or more – even though that can be tough for grandparents and grandchildren. That’s why Russo favors using masks outdoors as well as indoors.
• Hugging and kissing: “Certainly kissing is out, out, out. The virus is in saliva,” Russo said.
As for hugging the grandkids?
“If the child cannot wear a mask, I think hugging is definitely out. I’m not in love with hugging even if everyone is wearing masks. The reason is masks are imperfect. That’s why it’s safest if you can package together masks with physical distancing.”
• Multigenerational households: These are extraordinarily difficult because they’re within the bubble, Russo said. Now the kids are wandering out, they’re outside of the bubble, and they’re going to bring infection back into the household. Multigenerational families often are in low-income neighborhoods where individuals have been disproportionately affected. The social disparities have been magnified by this epidemic, Russo said.
Furthermore, there may be more interactions while living under the same roof, and trying to maintain distancing and wearing masks on a day-to-day basis is going to be extraordinarily difficult, he said.
• Car rides: Turn off the air conditioning and open the windows to get good ventilation. If a grandparent needs to be in car with a child, Russo recommends having the child and grandparent wear masks. If the child can’t wear a mask, have the grandparent also wear eye protection.
Final word for grandparents: “They need to be really rigorous with these public health measures and do as much as they can do outdoors, when weather permits; be rigorous about mask usage,” Russo said.
