The search for love, and friendship, is tireless. And on the Northwest Side, there are a host of groups and activities where single seniors can find companionship.
"It's just a place to meet new friends — but sometimes friends become lovers," said Joan Bergman who started a Sunday lunch group for people 50 and over about three years ago after she moved to Tucson from Minnesota.
"I didn't know any other adults here and I thought I needed to find some sort of social group," she said.
Bergman put a notice in the newspaper and said 50 people attended the first lunch at Old Pueblo Grille. Now she regularly sees 10 to 20 people on an average Sunday.
From her group, several couples have made a love connection, and one couple even married.
Bill Moore enjoyed attending singles groups in the area and started going to Bergman's lunch group.
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"I had been a bachelor for 23 years," said Moore, who is in his 60s. "I would go on trips but didn't have anybody to share them with."
But things changed for Moore, who looked forward to the groups as a way to meet friends.
"Enez came in and I just couldn't let her go," Moore said of his wife of two years, Enez Lai Moore. "I think Enez and I are a rarity."
The couple, who met three years ago next month, now live on the Northwest Side.
Range of activities
Friendship and social network building are really what people should look for in singles groups, Bill Moore said.
You may find love, but you meet good people too, he said. And some groups participate in a wide range of activities.
The SaddleBrooke Seniors group goes on cruises and lake trips, attends baseball games and regularly plays golf. They meet weekly for happy hour, too.
"It's a group of fun-loving people," said Gene Hameroff, one of the group's co-presidents.
The group met for a potluck party at a member's house this week. They greeted one another with big hugs, and chatter filled the room as members recounted recent outings.
"The best thing I ever did was join," said Dan Howells, a widower whose friends say he came out of his shell after joining the singles. "Sometimes the married couples are envious — we do so much!"
Health aspect
No matter what the activity, social interaction at any age is crucial for health, said Dr. Alan Levenson, professor emeritus of psychology with the University of Arizona College of Medicine.
"It is certainly important for older people to maintain social contact," Levenson said.
As people age, they tend to lose some opportunities for social contact younger people enjoy, Levenson said.
"Older people often don't have those same kinds of opportunities," he said. "They aren't working, they don't have automatically built-in opportunities to mingle."
It's important for people to look for ways to maintain social contacts, Levenson said. "It's very much a matter of it being something that fits for the individual."
Various aspects of social activity are beneficial, Levenson said, including intellectual stimulation and physical activity.
"The conventional wisdom is that social activity contributes to quality of life and could contribute to longevity," he said.
Having a social network is important, said Marian Lupu, director of the Pima Council on Aging. And if someone can go on to meet a soulmate, all the better, she said.
"The single most important thing that we hear as we do surveys is that people are concerned about loneliness as they grow older," Lupu said. "When we find a circle of friends, this adds to the feeling of loving life, participation and human contact so one no longer feels alone."
Social connections a need
Loneliness has negative effects on people — both physical and psychological — but much can be overcome by making social connections, Lupu said.
"This is as much a need as shelter, food and water," she said.
The Sunday lunch group provides a good place for conversation and making connections, Bergman said.
Bill Moore agreed, saying the group is made up of vibrant seniors.
"When I got into it I'd never seen so many healthy, active people," he said. "These are not your stuck-in-the-mud old folks. It's really quite surprising."
The Tucson Singletarians, which is working to better serve the Northwest Side, and particularly Marana, was established in 1971 and will be 35 years old in September, said Loretta Stiso, the group's program coordinator.
"It's very friendly for people 50 and over — we do happy hours, dinners and dances," she said. "It's basically getting people who are by themselves out of the house."
It's just a place to meet new friends — but sometimes friends become lovers.
Joan Bergman
Sunday lunch group founder
