For the first time in his 33 years, comedian Ralphie May has a lap.
It all started last fall when he suffered a hernia while participating in VH1's reality show, "Celebrity Fit Club." May was the biggest guy on the show, pushing the scales to 481 pounds. That was svelte when you consider at one point he carried 800 pounds on his frame.
He lost 78 pounds of fat, gained 34 pounds of muscle and turned his life around during the show's four-month run, and he would likely have continued on the path except for the hernia.
Late last November, he underwent surgery, and while they were doing that, they snipped 40 pounds of skin from his lower gut.
"I feel really better now without having to pick up 40 pounds of extra skin every time I take a step," May explained recently in a phone conversation from a concert stop in Bakersfield, Calif. "I've got a lap for the first time so it's kind of weird. I've never had a lap before, so it's awesome."
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The Tennessee-born, Arkansas- and Texas-bred May, the hip-hop comic who finished second in the first season of NBC's "Last Comic Standing," has been heavyset since he was a teen. In his bio, he blames his biggest weight gain on a car crash at 16 that left him comatose for 10 days and with 42 broken bones.
At his heaviest, he estimates he probably weighed about 800 pounds, although he doesn't know for sure.
"The doctor's scale went up to 700 something and it couldn't measure me," he says, adding that the doctor guesstimated his weight.
Two years ago, he underwent gastric bypass surgery and he's been losing since.
"I've lost 400 pounds and I'm still fat. I weigh about 390," he is quick to note in a subtle Southern drawl.
May, who performs at the Rialto Theatre on Saturday, had been doing stand-up for 14 years before he got his big break on "Last Comic" in 2003. He came in a controversial second to Dat Phan, who critics and pundits said should not have won.
"I get 50, 60 people a day say, 'You got robbed.' If living in a new house in the Hollywood hills and playing every week to sold-out shows and having a platinum-selling DVD and getting to perform all around the world and love what I do and do what I love and live the dream that I'm living — I'll take losing every day," May says.
Before "Last Comic," May had grown used to being rejected because of his weight. More doors closed than opened. He was consistently told he was too fat to appear on TV, too fat to sit on Conan O'Brien's or Jay Leno's couches, too fat to be taken seriously in the funny business of telling jokes.
"It was 'Last Comic Standing,' one person, one microphone and being invited into 11 million houses every week. I took it as a higher opportunity," the 33-year-old says.
He delivers his biting, politically incorrect social commentary with a hip-hop street cadence. It's cocky, self-assured and riddled with the slang you'd find rappers like Eminem slinging with abandon.
While he discusses his weight — it's a topic impossible to ignore — May said he does it almost in passing. He leaves the "fat jokes" to guys who do it best, like the late Sam Kinison or Louie Anderson.
"I'm really, really politically incorrect," he warns, then notes that his new wife, Lahna Turner — her real name — will open his Tucson show. Her comedy is much like his.
"If you're the sensitive type, I'm probably not your comic," May says. "I'm probably not your guy. I'd love to have you buy the ticket, but . . . ."
May plans to continue his weight loss journey once he heals from his November surgery. He won't go on a diet; he is convinced those who simply diet and do not make lifestyle changes are doomed to failure.
On the comedy front, he's hoping he can make his mark on the art form that has brought him so much pleasure throughout his life.
"I want to be on top of my game. I want to be a comic that moved comedy forward," he said. "I want to make sure that I leave comedy better than I found it."
Quick Take
Ralphie May in concert
When: 7:30 p.m. Saturday
Where: Rialto Theatre (Main Stages map, Page XX)
Tickets: $30 reserved floor seats, $25 balcony in advance at the Rialto, 740-1000
Family call: This is an all-ages show, but his material leans on the PG-13 side.
