When you are in the middle of a very sad time in your life, you may worry that your feelings are a sign of depression. Sadness can be a symptom of depression, but what a lot of people forget is that sadness, even deep sadness that lasts for a few months, is normal if you have suffered a great loss or experienced trauma. Sometimes we can’t just forget the bad things that have happened to us. It takes time to heal.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith
My doctor got so frustrated with my sadness after the loss of my dog that she wanted me on antidepressants. I have tried them before, they make me feel physically horrible, and frankly, I’d rather be sad than sick. For some people, however, antidepressants are a godsend.
Doctors and therapists say that if you are “depressed” for two weeks or more, you should see a physician for an exam and a recommendation. But I think it takes more than two weeks to get over the loss of a beloved companion. Three months later, I still have my bad days. Am I depressed? Well, sure, but it’s a situational depression. I’m really just sad about it, as well as a couple of other things, and I do believe that this is within the range of normal for an adult. My life is staying on track, I’ve rescued a new doggie, and I can feel myself beginning to heal as well.
People are also reading…
Doctors worry because a real depression can become serious and make you suicidal, and they want to nip it in the bud. However, if you are not letting your inner pain out in one way or another, you can take every SSRI out there and it probably won’t make a difference. I see a therapist and write about my feelings so they are not just sitting inside me.
Life is complicated, and if you are a sensitive person, loss and grief can cause sadness. Depression has several other signs besides feeling sad. Symptoms of clinical depression may include clear-cut changes in mood, affect, cognition, feelings of being hopeless and/or helpless, not sleeping or sleeping too much, worry, irritability, neglecting yourself or loved ones and overeating or eating too little. If you have more than a couple of these symptoms and have had them for two weeks or longer, make an appointment. It will help to get deeper insight into what’s going on with you.
It’s important to note again that depression is real and can be very serious. This time of year (July and August) is when many suicides take place. It can be very difficult to self-diagnose. Getting checked out by a professional could save your life. You can also talk to a trained counselor at the Suicide Prevention Hotline (988). Counselors are available around the clock, so make the call if you are worried about yourself. You can also call for advice about what to do if you are worried about someone else.
Sadness is often confused with depression, but it also is a symptom, and if it goes on for a long time, it can lead to depression. So I understand why the mental health community is watchful.
For most people who have depression, it does end, and medication, along with psychotherapy, can shorten the time you have to live with it. If you are concerned about your mood, don’t try to tough it out. Just talk with the right people, take care of yourself, and do everything you can to move past it.
Dr. Barton Goldsmith, an award-winning Los Angeles-based psychotherapist, writer and keynote speaker, can be reached via e-mail at Barton@BartonGoldsmith.com.
