In the seven games played in my Monday night softball league, our team, No Pepper Games, has yet to hit a ball over the fence.
It's not because we're terrible, we swear afterward over a beer.
We just don't want to get hurt.
Have you seen what happens to baseball players who celebrate? They turn into victims from "Dexter."
On May 29, Los Angeles Angels first baseman Kendry Morales broke his left leg after landing awkwardly on home plate celebrating a walk-off grand slam. He won't play again this year.
On June 13, UCLA second baseman Tyler Rahmatulla - who had staved off elimination the day before with a homer - broke his wrist in a dog pile after the Bruins won their regional. He hasn't played in the College World Series.
The two might have made celebrating passé - or at least are giving managers something else to worry about.
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Arizona Wildcats softball coach Mike Candrea already tells his team not to touch home run hitters until after they cross the plate. Do that, and they're out. Also, he says, don't jump on home plate. They might slip.
"I've tried to get my kids to sit in the dugout and make it look like they do it all the time," he said. "But it's hard to take that enthusiasm away from them."
It's all a little too familiar to Autumn Champion.
In 2004, the UA's leading hitter rounded third base as the walk-off winning run scored against Centenary in the NCAA regional.
She jumped in celebration, but turned back toward third in mid-air. When she landed, she tore the ACL in her right knee.
She remembers lying on her back, sobbing, while her teammates celebrated. She thought her lower leg had dislocated from her knee.
"I was saying, "Help me, help me,' " she said.
Without Champion, the UA lost in the regional - the only time that had happened in 23 years.
Champion's mom told her about the recent spate of baseball injuries, thinking she could relate.
"We still laugh about it," Champion said, "although it's not funny."
Andy Lopez, the UA baseball coach, said many players of this generation don't find the histrionics disrespectful. He scouted a Junior Olympics tournament this month and saw a player showboat, with his team woefully behind, after a homer.
"There was a time I would have bet my life the next hitter was going down," he said.
He didn't.
"In a strange way," Lopez continued, "if you went to a college baseball game and both teams are sitting on the bench, not standing up, just talking occasional baseball jargon, you might look around and say, 'Where am I? Did I just leave the Earth? What planet am I on?' "
Lopez can tell his players to not celebrate, because they might get hurt. UCLA's coaches can do the same. But if his players see it on "SportsCenter," what's the use?
"Did you ever think you'd see the day when a wide receiver changed his name to Ochocinco?" he said.
Lopez has a saying - unless a player is willing to do a cartwheel after getting a hit, he better not throw his helmet when he strikes out. Stay even-keeled.
Act like you've been there before, and you will get back again.
"It may not be in athletics," he said. "You get your first job, first pay raise, you get married. Celebrations are celebrations. Great moments are great moments."
Tucson Toros manager Tim Johnson played on the Milwaukee Brewers alongside longtime home run king Hank Aaron in 1975 and 1976, but never met him at home plate.
"You never did it when he hit home runs," Johnson said. "You'd be excited in the dugout."
Now, he holds meetings to warn his players of the dangers of celebrating. He never thought he'd see the day.
"Guys have got to be smart," he said, shaking his head. "Because you get enough injuries just playing the game."
Did you know?
Wonder why the phrase "walk-off" is used so much these days?
Blame former reliever Dennis Eckersley. According to "The New Dickson Baseball Dictionary," the Hall of Famer referred to a game-ending home run as "a walk-off piece" in a July 30, 1988, newspaper story.
It was the first printed reference to the soon-to-be-popularized phrase.
THE FINLEY FIVE: FIVE THINGS WE'LL BE TALKING ABOUT THIS WEEK
Coaster races!
1. Is it a sport? Who cares? Bisbee's coaster race, a July 4 tradition, is the longest and oldest gravity-powered car race in the world. It's also a great excuse to head off to the artists enclave for at least a 15-degree break in summer heat.
Summer hoops
2. Need a basketball fix? Check out the Tucson Summer Pro League, where UA ballers Solomon Hill, Kevin Parrom and Jamelle Horne are listed on rosters. The league takes this week off before returning July 9. Games are held at the Northwest Center near Grant Road and North Sixth Avenue.
Fireworks!
3. Last July 4, Hi Corbett Field was filled with 9,038 fans - a Golden Baseball League record - to watch the Tucson Toros and their post-game fireworks. The team, and the fireworks, are at home again this Independence Day.
Soccer
4. Sure, the United States and Mexico are out of the World Cup. So are England, France and Italy, monsters of the game and among its most popular squads. That doesn't mean you can't watch two more days of the knockout round before Friday's quarterfinals start. We're rooting for a Brazil-Argentina final.
Racin'
5. Want some dirt to go with the tremendous heat? Race fans understand. Saturday night, USA Raceway offers up its "Fireworks Festival," a night of dirt-track racing at the track at 4300 E. Los Reales Road.
Patrick Finley
Contact Patrick Finley at 573-4145 or follow him on Twitter at twitter.com/patrickfinley
