CORVALLIS, Ore.
Dear Mr. Football: What's the difference between a football game at Oregon State and one at Arizona?
A: Friday at lunch at The Depot café in nearby Albany, Ore., three consecutive couples to walk through the door were outfitted in Beavers gear. Two pickups parked in the lot had OSU flags attached to the windows. Another had a garish orange and black OSU sign on the passenger-side door. At the Phoenix Inn on Interstate 5, the room maids wore orange OSU T-shirts. And the Beavers haven't won a game since 2010.
On Fridays before an Arizona home game, director of athletics Greg Byrne wears a red golf shirt. People ask, "Why do you keep wearing that shirt on Fridays?"
Dear Mr. Football: Is Mike Riley the Joe Paterno of Oregon State football?
A: When Riley signed "a lifetime" contract (through 2019) a year ago, OSU director of athletics Bob DeCarolis told reporters "Mike wants to be the Joe Paterno of Oregon State."
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Riley is 58. Paterno is 84. In Paterno years, that means Riley could coach at OSU until 2037. In Las Vegas, oddmakers make it 3-to-1 that Riley coaches until he's 84 over Arizona getting to the Rose Bowl by 2037.
Dear Mr. Football: Is Riley really the gentleman he is perceived to be?
A: When he signed his lifetime contract he told the Oregonian newspaper: "I love this staff, and I want to keep us together. I want to make life for my assistant coaches comfortable. I want them to stay for a long time. This is not about Mike Riley. We are one group and one vision. I want to keep it that way."
Three months later he demoted/fired linebackers coach Greg Newhouse.
Riley essentially started another vision by hiring former UA assistant coach Brent Brennan, who had been with Dick Tomey at San Jose State. Brennan has learned well from Tomey. When asked about his break-in time at OSU, he said, "It's like trying to drink from a fire hose."
That was Tomey's break-out line in 1991 when the Wildcats started four freshmen on the offensive line and were routed by No. 2 Miami 36-9.
Dear Mr. Football: Has OSU's losing streak affected its local status?
A: In August, quarterback-linebacker Junior Espitia of nearby South Salem High School, committed to play for the Beavers. A month later, after the Beavers lost to Sacramento State, he withdrew his pledge and said he would instead play for Cal.
"It's a dream school for me," he told local reporters, surely linking himself to the great pipeline of Oregonians who have grown up dreaming of being a Cal Bear.
Dear Mr. Football: Do any Tucson kids dream of being a Beaver?
A: Tucson High grad Osia Lewis was a starting linebacker at OSU in the 1980s; Amphi grad Tom Huthoefer once had three QB sacks for the Beavers against Stanford in 1995; and Mountain View grad Gabe Schmidtke was OSU's regular holder on place-kicks in the late '90s.
They all played on some very bad Beaver teams, but it didn't leave scars. All have become well-adjusted and successful adults. Schmidtke owns a dental practice near Tucson Country Club; Huthoefer, who earned a master's degree in finance, is an accountant in Denver; and Lewis, the linebackers coach at San Diego State, married the daughter of a legendary high school track coach from nearby Albany, Ore.
Dear Mr. Football: Does Reser Stadium provide a good home-field advantage?
A: This century, Oregon State is 51-18 at Reser, topped in the Pac-12 only by Oregon's 59-13 and USC's 58-13. Cal is next at 47-23. Arizona is a ghastly 35-40 at home this century.
Look, the last time Arizona played a winless OSU team in Corvallis, 1990, the 0-5 Beavers whipped UA 35-21. The shocking outcome didn't revive the Beavers; OSU went on to lose every other game and finish 1-10. It wasn't that the crowd was boisterous; only 21,653 showed up to see a 4-1 Arizona team go flat.
If you think OSU freshman QB Sean Mannion is an unknown, Arizona's 1990 Aloha Bowl team lost in Corvallis to emergency QB starter Fred Schweer, who completed only 10 passes and still outplayed the Wildcats.
Dear Mr. Football: Do bad things happen to bad teams in the Rain State?
A: In 1982, a 5-2-1 Arizona team lost 48-41 to USC - same score as last week in Los Angeles - and a week later flew to Oregon to play the 0-8-1 Ducks. Oregon won 13-7. It cost Arizona a berth in the Bluebonnet Bowl.
Bad teams have made bad things happen to Arizona in Drizzle World.
Dear Mr. Football: Does Mike Stoops deserve any sympathy for using 18 first-time starters this season?
A: Not today. Oregon State has deployed 19 first-time starters, including 10 true freshmen.
Besides, in his eighth season, Stoops is past the "just give me a little more time" stage.
Winning today won't matter much in the big picture at Arizona. It's not the goal of the school, or its director of athletics, to just beat the beatable teams like Oregon State.
What is more important today is to not lose to a team like Oregon State. Unlike the Beavers, who have a coach signed for the long, long, long haul, this is potentially a tipping-point game for Arizona, whose coach is working on a short contract.
A loss today would create incalculable damage for the Wildcats and their coach.
In the Desperation Bowl, Arizona survives 27-23. Ka'Deem Carey, come on down.
