Finally we know why homicidal maniac Michael Myers wears a mask — straight-up embarrassment. The new "Halloween" doesn't reinvent the series as much as it regurgitates it.
Director Rob Zombie, who had established himself as an exciting new voice in the horror genre with "House of 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Rejects," smashes his credibility as a punk would a jack-o'-lantern with a remake that unravels after a strong start.
Released Friday, the ninth film in the nearly 30-year-old series is a franchise reboot, which scraps everything that has come before to start fresh. "Halloween" tries to do what "Casino Royale" and "Batman Begins" did for their franchises, but instead of reinvigorating the slasher legend, "Halloween" subjects its franchise to a more grotesque murder than any in the movie.
At least the opening is riveting. Set in a dysfunctional, lower-middle-class home, we peek into the troubled life of 10-year-old Michael, a tinderbox of rage and murderous impulses.
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It doesn't take pompous psychologist Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) to sense that the kid is trouble. He's bullied at school and tests out his bloodlust torturing pet rats, roaming around in a clown mask to hide from a world he views as torturous and disappointing. His mom's a supportive but emotionally unavailable stripper whose live-in boyfriend unleashes torrents of physical abuse on everyone around him, and his older sister is self-absorbed and oblivious. The only one who doesn't let Michael down is his baby sister, and that's only because she can't yet talk.
Played with chilling inner torment and deep sadness by Daeg Faerch, Michael is far more frightening and interesting as a boy than he is as a 27-year-old escaped mental patient who ruthlessly goes after hapless, faceless ¸— often shirtless if they're female — victims.
After the promising 40-minute first act, "Halloween" turns into a nightmare. Zombie ditches the psychological intrigue and character work in favor of a mindless hackfest.
The lunacy starts when Michael escapes. After years in captivity, he randomly decides to snap the chains that bind him when cops are trying to move him to a different facility. After laying gory waste to the officers, Michael heads off to find his baby sister, Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton), who was secretly adopted by a kindly couple and is now a high school senior.
Laurie is a good girl who dedicates her weekend nights to baby-sitting rather than dating. Her best friends are both promiscuous, which doesn't bode well for their shelf lives with Michael on the prowl. Zombie ditches the killer's traditional blank-faced William Shatner mask, but retains his obsession with killing sexually active teens.
Never mind that Michael would have no way of knowing Laurie is his little sis. He just knows. Apparently, divining lost siblings is one of the many supernatural powers he acquired while locked away, as well as invulnerability to bullets and knife stabbings, and especially a proclivity for happening upon nude post-coital teens with butcher knife in hand.
Luckily for Laurie, she has a supernatural ability to scamper away from knife-wielding psychos at the last second, which makes for a battle royale between her and her older bro that takes up most of the final 30 minutes.
It takes supernatural ability from the audience to endure this rote nonsense, which is far more trick than treat.
Review
Halloween (**) — Rated R for strong, brutal, bloody violence and terror throughout, sexual content, graphic nudity and pervasive language. Rob Zombie directs. 109 minutes.
