On some level, we are all motivated by a desire for happiness. For many of us, faith and spirituality are helpful frameworks for achieving joyful and peace-filled lives. However, trying to find happiness by chasing one thing after another often leaves us exhausted and, ironically, more unhappy than before. How do we escape this cycle while living meaningful and fulfilling lives?
Our culture often tells us that we just need that one thing and we’ll be happy. That vacation, that car, a bigger house, a better job. Sometimes we just want the general feeling that things are going our way. Have you heard the advice for arguing couples? Would you rather be right or be happy? How many of us would respond? I’d surely be pretty happy if I were right.
Doesn’t it sometimes feel like those who seem to have it all — such as celebrities — still appear to wrestle with these same questions? As Actor Jim Carrey puts it, “I hope everybody could get rich and famous and will have everything they ever dreamed of, so they will know that it’s not the answer.” Maybe what he is getting at is that happiness is less about the external and more about what is happening for us on the inside.
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Did you know that the root word for happiness is an ancient Norse word, happ, which is also the same root for the word happens? Many times, what happens in life is out of our control. How is this tied to happiness? Psychoanalyst and author Robert A. Johnson put it this way: “people in less complicated parts of the world … exhibit a happiness and tranquility that is a puzzle to us...These people know the art of happiness, contentment with what is. Their happiness is what happens. If you can not be happy at the prospect of lunch, it is not likely you will be happy over anything.”
What if happiness is less about trying to make certain things happen and more about learning to accept and embrace the things we cannot control? Ironically, the more we try to control life, the more it seems to slip from our grasp. Henry David Thoreau thought of it in this way: “happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it, the more it will evade you, but if you notice the other things around you, it will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”
In the Old Testament, a handful of books are considered to be the “wisdom” texts. Two of these, Proverbs and Ecclesiastes, are uniquely placed back to back. Proverbs seem to say here are some valuable life principles that can help you achieve a happy and fulfilling life. In other words, sometimes things do add up. Then, Ecclesiastes seems to respond by saying, other times, things don’t make sense. Things don’t always add up. Then what? In one of my favorite verses in Ecclesiastes (5:19), Solomon writes, “we should make the most of what God gives, both the bounty and the capacity to enjoy it, accepting what’s given and delighting in the work. It’s God’s gift! God deals out joy in the present, the now.”
It sounds as if Solomon is encouraging us to appreciate what we already have, to accept what happens, to try and enjoy our work, and to recognize that all of this is happening in the “now.” Where else could it be? The past is just a memory of things that already happened, and the future is just a projection of what could happen. The only place that joy can ever truly be experienced is right now, in this present moment.
You might be thinking, I can get on board with most of this, but are you telling me I should try to enjoy going to work? Our careers and responsibilities are generally the areas of life that require us to focus on the needs of others, yet it often feels like the times we are the happiest are when we can focus on ourselves and the ones closest to us. When I get caught up in this type of thinking, I remind myself of the words of the Nobel Prize-winning poet and philosopher Rabindranath Tagore. He said, “I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy.”
What if serving others allows us to take the focus off of ourselves, which paradoxically frees us from constantly chasing after the next empty promise of potential happiness? What if more joy is found in giving than in receiving? For many of us, our faith communities provide a place to serve others, a space to be honest about our struggles, and opportunities to practice settling into the present moment. May we celebrate these gifts of community as they allow us to aim for something even higher than a life of happiness — a life of meaning. Then, happiness “will gently come and sit on your shoulder.”
Tucson faith leaders, we would like to include your original sermon or scriptures of encouragement. Sermons must be written by the person submitting them, not borrowed from another source or writer. If you are a faith leader from any religion or denomination, please contact Sara Brown at sbbrown@tucson.com.
Jake Haber
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