DEAR ABBY: I am a soldier currently deployed in Iraq. My unit's mission has ended, but we must remain here for the next two months with no real mission to occupy our time. Because of this, I spend free time in the gym.
Recently, a female American civilian contractor has started working out at the same time I do. She's gorgeous and wears skimpy, provocative clothing while working out. I find it hard not to stare.
Is it wrong for me to stare? Should I confront her and tell her that her clothing distracts me and makes me feel uncomfortable? - CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT IN IRAQ
DEAR CRUEL AND UNUSUAL: You know darn well that it's wrong to stare. Do not "confront" the woman. Have a gym supervisor talk to her or you might get in trouble for harassment. Or better yet - change the time of your workout.
DEAR ABBY: My father died six months ago after many years of declining health. He was 87 and had lived a long and rich life. My oldest brother insists we have an annual celebration on my father's birthday at Dad's favorite Chinese restaurant. This isn't how I want to honor my father.
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Everyone in our large family showed up at the restaurant, and my mother and brother loved all the attention. I do not want to memorialize my father this way, but not participating will create a rift. Should I stay true to myself and honor Dad in my own quiet way, or fake it and go to this annual shindig? - MANIPULATED IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR MANIPULATED: That's a decision I can't make for you. You need to weigh the benefits of honoring your mother's feelings against the fallout your absence would create. If your father died at 87, your mother may not be around much longer, and you'll have many years to honor your dad in your own quiet way.
DEAR ABBY: After a year together, my boyfriend has broken up with me. He's going through a divorce and says that right now is not a good time for us.
He wants to keep in touch and says that maybe, down the road, we can get back together.
My friends and family think he's using me as a standby. I'm left wondering: Does he want to get past his issues or is he just playing games?- NOT A GAME-PLAYER, PLEASANTON, CALIF.
DEAR NOT A GAME-PLAYER: Neither one. You have been dumped. The technique your "boy-friend" used is called the "easy letdown." Don't count on getting back together or you'll waste more time on a losing proposition. In the future, find a man who's available, and you may have better luck.
Write to Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.