As a grandparent, I wondered whether twins could share an automobile. That is, twins who furiously tore toys out of each other's hands even though each had the identical toy.
To answer this question, I did a telephone interview with my 16-year-old twin grandchildren, Hannah and Jeremy.
Back story: They live in a state where they get a driver's permit at age 15 after passing driver's education and a driving test. But they must drive under parental supervision with no one else in the car for a year. They are required to drive for a specified number of hours under various conditions including freeway driving and driving in rain and snow. (Grandma confesses this was scary to hear about.)
When they reach 16 and present evidence they have complied with the requirements they receive a restricted driver's license. Only two people including the driver in the car (a sibling may also be in the car) and no driving after 10 p.m.or before 6 a.m..
People are also reading…
After another year, provided they have a spotless driving record, they are issued an unrestricted license.
I feel strongly that in a state without this requirement parents should supervise the new driver for at least a year at night and at least six months during the day, longer if necessary. Why? Driving requires skills and judgment. Skills may not take long to learn but judgment takes time to acquire.
We now know that the prefrontal cortex in humans is not fully developed until the late 20s. This area is the seat of judgment, so every 16-year-old needs parental supervision to practice those skills under supervision and to hear parental comments (carefully delivered) when the new driver is not using good judgment.
This is important because teens (especially but not exclusively boys) tend to be risk takers. The combination of risk taking with underdeveloped judgment can be lethal.
When asked about how to arrange car use and how things are working, Hannah said their mom helps with the schedule depending on school hours and after-school activities. The one going the furthest will drive and let the other off. It works "pretty well" but there are arguments about who gets gas and Jeremy objected to a bumper sticker Hannah put on without asking, over which they are still bickering.
Also, "Twins fight a lot. We are easily annoyed by each other and argue about school, food, and friends. We argue more than brother and sister friends who are not twins because they are in different classes and have different friends. It's bad this year because we are in the same school and many of the same classes. So we have more to argue about. Sometimes our close friends tell us to shut up."
Jeremy said we argue about unscheduled activities when we both want the car to go to a different place. He says Hannah doesn't like to drive as much as he does so he does more driving. Also sometimes he is allowed to drive his mother's car when Hannah really needs the shared car.
He added, "We don't fight like we used to when we were little but we are still competitive and argue a lot. We argue more when we are with friends or with our parents but for some reason when we are alone we have normal conversations."
Grandma: "Would this be because you argue to get attention or get noticed?" "Probably!" Jeremy laughed.
Both agreed they argue less now and Hannah added that the bickering when they are with friends is more joking than real arguing.
I asked each twin who was the better driver.
Jeremy: "I am. Hannah drives too slow because she is too cautious."
Hannah: "I am the better driver because I am more cautious."
(Their mom tends to agree with Hannah.)
I also asked each twin if something bad or sad happened would they go to their twin to talk about it and both said yes.
My conclusions: The twins' car sharing is possible because:
1. Each twin each drove under parental supervision for a year.
2. Both are maturing, maybe at different rates and along different trajectories but it is happening.
3. They know if they don't drive carefully and share amicably, the car will be grounded and they both will be doing a lot of walking.
Dr. Heins is a pediatrician, parent, grandparent and the founder of ParentKidsRight.com. She welcomes your individual parenting questions. Email info@ParentKidsRight.com for a professional, personal and private answer to your questions.