UNIVERSAL CITY, Calif. - If you're the parent of a preschool-age child, you may have noticed the colorful ads in recent weeks for "The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure" and thought to yourself: "God, I hope my kid doesn't insist on seeing that movie."
If you're not a parent, but have even a passing interest in pop culture, you may have heard of "The Oogieloves" anyway: It's making news, and for all the wrong reasons. The G-rated, live-action family film had a historically abysmal opening: $443,901 in its first weekend in theaters (the movie had opened on 2,160 screens the previous Wednesday). That averages out to $206 per screen. Both figures are record-worsts for a wide release.
Suddenly, the word "Oogieloves" was right up there with "Ishtar" as a shorthand for film failure. But a morbid fascination with the movie seems to have developed over the past week. Jen Chaney wrote in her Washington Post blog: "The massive floppage of 'The Oogieloves' has only made me feel more compelled to see it."
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Arts writer Dave Itzkoff of The New York Times joked during the Democratic National Convention on Twitter, where he's @ditzkoff: "Clinton's speech so good he convinced me to see that Oogieloves movie. #DNC"
Allow me to try and explain the plot of "The Oogieloves":
A trio of oversized, pear-shaped, brightly colored weirdos named Goobie, Zoozie and Toofie are throwing a birthday party. J. Edgar, a vacuum cleaner, was supposed to bring five magical, golden balloons as a gift, but he lost them. So the Oogieloves, with the help of Windy Window, must track down the balloons, which have fallen into the hands of a bizarre cross-section of people. They're played by Cloris Leachman, Chazz Palminteri, Toni Braxton, Christopher Lloyd, Jaime Pressly and - in the most unsettling performance of all - Cary Elwes as a cowboy named Bobby Wobbly.
There is a high cringe factor in watching these performers working so hard with such odd, weak material. "The Oogieloves" is also a mess from a technical standpoint, with harsh lighting, uncomfortable close-ups, and costumes and effects that look like something out of a Sid and Marty Krofft TV program from the '70s.
