MONTPELIER, Vt. — For many who lived through Vermont's not-so-civil debate over civil unions, the memories remain painfully fresh: hate mail, threatening telephone messages, tense public meetings.
This time around, as the state weighs whether to legalize gay marriage, the debate is noticeably tamer, with little of the vitriol and recrimination that surrounded its groundbreaking 2000 decision to legally recognize gay and lesbian couples.
It's early: Lawmakers say they're unlikely to push for a vote this year on pending legislation that would legalize gay marriage, although a state-appointed panel has been gathering public input and is due to report to the Legislature in April.
Although that absence of an impending vote may be what's keeping things civil, people involved in the debate have noticed a change in atmosphere.
People are also reading…
"It's a very different tenor," said Beth Robinson, chairwoman of the Vermont Freedom to Marry Task Force, which supports gay marriage.
"People have had an opportunity to come to terms. Vermonters have had eight years to see the two guys next door, or the two women down the street who have a legally recognized relationship under the civil unions law."
On Dec. 20, 1999, the Vermont Supreme Court ruled that barring same-sex unions was unconstitutional and ordered the Legislature to come up with a law accommodating them. That triggered a yearlong battle in which a state that prides itself on tolerance seemed to lack it.
Supporters and opponents alike streamed into Montpelier to rally and lobby lawmakers.
When the law took effect July 1, 2000, it didn't quell the controversy or the fallout. It became a central issue in that year's elections, and 17 incumbents who voted in favor lost their seats.
"It was quite rancorous," said Stephen Cable, founder of Vermont Renewal, which opposed civil unions then and opposes gay marriage now.
"I have a box of hate mail you can't imagine," Cable said. "We got dried feces and used condoms in the mail. We had people stalking our vice president, who had an armed guard at her house for three weeks, 24/7."
"It was a time unlike anything since the Vietnam War era, when you had the sense that the whole world around you was divided," said David Moats, author of "Civil Wars: A Battle For Gay Marriage," a book about Vermont's civil unions controversy.
An Associated Press exit poll of voters that November found the state split 49 percent to 49 percent on whether civil unions were a good idea.
Four years later, the poll asked voters to choose among three options for recognition of same-sex unions: full marriage, civil unions or no recognition.
Forty percent said they supported marriage, 37 percent civil unions and 21 percent neither.
Other states followed Vermont's lead. Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire have endorsed civil unions, and California and Washington have enacted domestic partner laws. Only Massachusetts permits gay marriage.
Last summer, the Legislature appointed an 11-member Vermont Commission on Family Recognition and Protection to explore the idea of gay marriage and hear how Vermonters feel about it.
The panel, which opponents say is stacked with gay marriage supporters and have boycotted, has held seven hearings and has three more scheduled.
