The following is the opinion and analysis of the writer:
Kathy Phelan
Full disclosure, I’m what some people call a snowflake (I hold progressive viewpoints and advocate for social justice and cultural sensitivity). I’m a lesbian and an atheist. Over most of my lifetime, it was considered impolite, if not downright dangerous, to be open about these things. At my mother’s knee (in the 1950s), I was taught to never discuss politics or religion in social situations. (Sexual orientation wasn’t addressed politely anywhere I knew of!) I was a teen when all of that began to change, but I never took those changes for granted.
As an adult returning to college, the DEI statement was prominently posted. I breathed a sigh of relief. I didn’t need to hide who I was. I felt invited in, welcomed. It never occurred to me that opening that door to me might feel to someone else like it was being slammed on them. It occurs to me now. Target’s merchandise celebrating gay pride month was a welcome delight to me, but a dangerous assault to others. Target dropped its commitment to diversity to satisfy some customers (and to address costly litigation) and lost other customers by betraying the very commitment to diversity that earned loyalty from shoppers like me. What a pickle!
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I’m all for businesses that take a committed stand. We can vote with our dollars, and our votes matter. But everywhere, all the time? Really? Must we? My mother’s adage not to discuss politics and religion in social situations made room for difference and civility.
I want room for difference and civility in my personal life. I was on a neighborhood stroll with a conservative friend who was disparaging a politician I admire. I let her know that she was likely talking to the most progressive person she knew. She replied, “Well, we have other things in common.” She stopped dissing the politician, and we carried on with our pleasant walk.
I also want room for difference and civility in my community life. A dear friend was recently celebrating all the positive responses she got by taking a public stand in her business newsletter about a divisive issue not related to her business. I told her I imagined that for each positive response stated, there was likely a negative response unstated. It did not make sense to associate her business with one side or the other. Did she realize her partisan assumptions could cost her customers? Did she really need her customers to agree with her?
I did business last year with a local company. They did good work. I recently saw their name listed as one of the local businesses on a platform supporting right-wing social and political policies. Really? Oh, well. Maybe the owner, like my friend, didn’t calculate the cost of partisanship. So I decided to ask.
I researched the list (unattributed), the company, and the right-wing platform. The deeper I dug, the soggier my footing. I sent an email: “Hi, I’m a satisfied customer who hopes your business plan does not include partisan political associations. In case you don’t know, check the list you are on. I am worried that, like [another local business], this is misinformation that may harm your business. Here are some screenshots from social media that may be relevant.”
I caught myself just in time. I was ready to write off a business I knew and liked because of some unattributed list. Who is closing the door on whom?
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Kathy Phelan moved to Tucson in 1982, when her wife accepted a job at the U of A. For the last 43 years in The Old Pueblo, she has led a quiet life as an artist and caregiver. She has personally advocated for gay rights by following Harvey Milk’s example of letting them know they know you.
