I met a woman recently who always carries a few children’s books in her purse. Whenever she sees a child looking at a phone or tablet, she goes up to them and asks if they would like a book. They nearly always do, and their parents are grateful.
When I asked her about it, she mentioned concerns about children spending too much time on digital devices. Then she said, simply, “Children need stories.”
She’s right. Children do need stories, much more than even most parents and educators seem to realize. And her concern about the harmful effects of electronic devices like phones and tablets is also well-founded.
As of 2025, 40% of children under age 2 had a tablet, and 58% of children had one by age 4. By the time they are teenagers, the average child spends 7.7 hours per day outside of school on a screen. Add in the 3-4 hours that most kids spend on screens in school, and that is about 11-12 hours per day on average.
People are also reading…
In earlier columns, I have highlighted much of the research demonstrating harm caused by digital devices. It is worth reviewing the main points here, because despite warnings from numerous sources, the time children spend on those devices continues to increase.
Preschool children who spend more than an hour or so on screens have delayed neurological development, reduced vocabulary and more behavioral problems.
As a child grows older, increased screen time — anything more than 3 hours per day — is associated with increased anxiety, depression and sleep deprivation.
Moreover, kids who spend a great deal of time on screens have reduced capacity for social interaction, a much smaller circle of acquaintances and fewer friends. This is especially important because friendship is a key factor in well-being throughout the lifespan.
The extent of these harms is finally being recognized by policymakers. Most schools in the U.S. now have at least some restrictions on cellphone use. Several countries, including Australia, France, Spain, Canada, Brazil, Indonesia, Denmark, Thailand and South Korea, either have or are considering a ban on social media by children under 16. Great Britain just enacted a ban last week.
But banning cell phone use and restricting access to social media is not by itself a pathway to greater mental health for children. That’s because it is not just the content on digital devices that is causing harm; it is also what children are not doing while on their devices.
We need to focus not just on what children should not be doing, but even more on what children should be doing instead. And that’s where stories come into play.
We are a storytelling species. In fact, children begin telling stories almost as soon as they learn to speak, having acquired the rudiments around 2 to 2½ years old. By the time they are 4 years old, they can tell many different types of stories: about themselves, family members and fictional characters. They love to hear stories told over and over, and this is one of the ways they learn to tell stories themselves.
Pay attention to a conversation with a 5-year-old sometime and notice how much of it consists of stories. It turns out to be about 70%.
We don’t know exactly why children are so entranced with stories, but they are. It is how they connect with others, build their vocabulary and learn to understand and process emotions. Most importantly, it is how they build a social identity.
Children’s books are useful because they offer a variety of types of narratives. When stories are read to children, it helps them develop an understanding of the voices of characters and to experience the joy of connecting with another person through the sharing of stories. When they read to themselves, they supply the voices, enter into the lives of the characters, and enrich and broaden their imagination.
This is entirely lacking in stories told on digital platforms.
Watch a few videos on YouTube Kids. Notice how loud and flashy they are. Notice how much the characters shout, scream, laugh and cry — always clamoring for the viewer’s attention. Notice how disjointed the narratives are, how there is no space for the child’s imagination to enter and to grow, no pause for asking questions, for wondering about things.
Videos are all about entertainment. It’s not storytelling, it’s spectacle.
We are gradually becoming a nation entranced by spectacle, where it is easy to tell what people like or dislike, but hard to tell what they think. And it is getting harder to feel any connection with one another, because we lack shared stories.
If we want to improve our nation, it begins with our communities. And that begins with the stories we tell one another, and especially the stories we tell our children.
Richard Kyte is director of the D.B. Reinhart Institute for Ethics in Leadership at Viterbo University in La Crosse, Wis., and co-host of "The Ethical Life" podcast.
Richard Kyte is the director of the D.B. Reinhart Institute for Ethics in Leadership at Viterbo University in La Crosse, Wisconsin. His new book, “Finding Your Third Place: Building Happier Communities (and Making Great Friends Along the Way),” is available from Fulcrum Books. He also cohosts “The Ethical Life” podcast.
