Dr. Barton Goldsmith: It all comes down to relationships

A few days after seeing him, I started having chest pains. I realized they were probably sympathy symptoms but saw my cardiologist anyway. He has been my heart doctor for two decades. We have spoken at the same events, and he was a guest on my radio show a couple of times. We like each other, and I’ve always considered us, at the very least, professional friends.

Turns out, the relationship goes deeper. His medical group no longer accepts my overpriced medical insurance, but as a professional courtesy, he saw me anyway. I’m sure he did it because we have a relationship and certain things in common (we both hate the insurance companies). He could have told me to see someone else, and I appreciate that he didn’t, because I don’t want to change doctors at this point in my life. I had to pay for the nuclear stress test (just to cover his costs, but ouch), and he will continue to see me while I get this insurance thing worked out. I’d rather stick with the physicians who know me and my body best. I am, however, changing insurance companies.

Something similar happened with another specialist I’ve been seeing for over 20 years, and he told me not to worry about the bill. I really don’t want a new urologist. He is a totally brilliant doctor, and besides, when you are having invasive exams done, you want someone who you know is going to take care of you and make the process as easy as possible. Yes, we also have a relationship. So until open enrollment comes around next month, I am going to be a cash patient. The insurance company, or the system, is at fault here.

If you are going through the dilemma of whether you should change doctors or change your insurance, that kind of stress is not going to help you heal. In fact, it is widely known that long-term stress is unhealthy, so it’s very important to reduce it wherever and whenever you can. In my case, the added financial stress is for the short term only, and I’m doing what I can to keep it from bothering me. I have to keep my mind on staying healthy and reinforcing my relationships — and not only with my doctors but also with the people who are most important in my life.

My cardiologist gave me a clean bill of health, which was reassuring. Still, my friend’s recent experience has been another wake-up call.

In the past, I have often put my work first, and I hope you won’t make that same mistake. Work and money come and go, but our relationships help us stay emotionally balanced and physically healthy. Yes, I want to keep progressing with my work, but not at the expense of my personal and professional relationships. So I have begun consciously taking more time with the people in my life, and the funny thing is that I haven’t had any chest pain since.