People raise eyebrows at couples who are far apart in terms of age. Anything over a 10-year difference in age is subject to question. The truth is that there are so many other things that matter more when it comes to long-lasting love than how old your partner is.
The age of your partner is less important than having good communication with them and knowing how to fight fairly so that you can keep your family together for the decades ahead. An age gap pales in the face of how nice you are to each other and how much love you feel and share. Happy marriages can be found with many couples who have a 20-plus year gap between them.
For many years, in traditional marriages, with husband as breadwinner and wife as mom and homemaker, it was considered appropriate for a man to marry a younger woman, even 15 years younger. The idea was that the wife would be able to take care of the husband as he aged, and after his death she would have an inheritance and the children to help her as she in turn got older.
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As times changed and more women entered the workforce, the old system began to become less than ideal. More people looked for a mate closer in age, with the belief that the more you have in common, the easier it is to stay connected in the long term. This may be true in many cases, but now the pendulum is swinging in the opposite direction, and women are openly looking for younger men. Some say they don’t want to do the caretaking thing (which could be a red flag). Others say that they want a guy who can keep up with them (which makes sense).
Whatever your differences (and age may not even be a factor), it’s important to discuss what you want your life to be like, before you make a long-term commitment. The biggest issue may be if one of you has kids or wants them and the other doesn’t. Another big difference can show up if either of you wants to retire. Ignoring your differences will not make them go away.
Perhaps the most common factor in successful relationships is mutual respect. If you don’t feel and give respect to your partner, your relationship will whither. Love is powerful, but lack of respect can be a relationship killer.
In the end, a wide gap in age really doesn’t matter as long as the two of you are aware of what it means for your life together, and the other ingredients for a successful relationship are present. Don’t let someone else’s bad experience with an older partner dissuade you from being with the person you love.
