When you date, one of two things will happen. Either you get married and live together or you break up, which, at best, is never easy and sometimes feels like an outright terrorist attack. Many people do not react well to rejection, and some just go off completely. Yes, there is the possibility that the person you are dating is insane or an addict, and that can be hidden for a long time. Remember the movie "Fatal Attraction?"
Dr. Barton Goldsmith
You can just be innocently dating and find yourself with a dangerous person by accident — it happens more than you know on the internet — because people present themselves so differently at the start. It's often better to be introduced by a trusted mutual friend before you go out with someone new. It takes at least a year to get to know someone, and if you get too close too soon, you are asking for trouble. Unfortunately, times have changed, and it has become important to do background checks on the people you are going to meet.
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Once you have been betrayed in a life-altering manner, it can become very hard to get back on that horse. In fact, you can develop a deep distrust and find yourself being way too frightened to venture out again. Guess what? That makes sense. However, to move your life forward, you need to heal your emotional wounds.
Begin by forgiving yourself. Your intentions were honorable, but things got twisted because the person you picked was broken, and you ended up getting emotionally injured in the process. One thing you can do here is to make sure you take care of yourself.
When you feel like an emotional wreck and disconnected from humanity, you may allow depression to have its way with you and forget to do the things that keep you healthy. That reminds me — I have to take my gummy vitamins (highly recommended if swallowing a couple of giant pills is unappealing). Little things like that will help keep you functioning while your heart and head find balance again.
Remember that this too shall pass; nothing is permanent. Even if you think you’ll never look for romantic love again, your real feelings are (and need to be) in flux. Although it may be lonely, you need to spend time on your own or with people who are not potential partners, like family members. Even if you have your issues, it’s more healing to have those who love you close by.
While you are going through this, be gentle with yourself. At times like these, even going to the market can be a challenge, but it can also be good emotional exercise. You need to feed your body, and you need to get out. When you can’t think of what to do, just running errands can move you in the right direction. It’s doubtful that hanging out in front of the TV or even on the internet will do that for you (regardless of what you’re reading).
This is gonna hurt for a while. You will find moments of distraction, but some things you just have to learn to live with, and this kind of craziness is one of those things. When the loss has been destructive, you may need more time to heal from it. But don’t give up. Just remember to keep breathing.
